Let’s jump right into this topic today! Do you think you’re too fat for your partner?
Here’s the thing: when we feel awful about our bodies, when the reflection that stares back at us in the mirror is not what we want, one self-loathing thought can creep in (if we’re in a relationship, married, or dating)…
“I’m too fat for my partner”
This was a huge struggle for me when I dated a personal trainer the year after I moved back from living abroad.
I was friends with him before I left. The year I was gone, I gained about 35-40 pounds. Upon my return he asked me out on a date…
“What?!” I thought to myself.
“He is super fit, trains”perfect” women all day, I’ve gone up at least a few sizes, and feel disgusting. Why would he EVER want to see, look at or touch my body?!”
I couldn’t fathom him finding me attractive. Inside, I felt miserable with myself and my body.
I turned him down repeatedly because I was disgusted with myself and was terrified of being intimate with anyone (and having anyone see my body).
The full story about dating is on the podcast (if you want to listen to it here), but I wanted to keep this post short and to the point!
**Please note that this is based on my own experience and thoughts. I was never “categorized” as obese in my own journey, so my version of fat may be different than your version. My version was very much a mental perspective and being bigger for my own body frame than what seemed natural for me. So while I can only speak from my own perspective, please take what resonates and leave the rest ♥
So, if you think you’re too fat for your partner, remember these 3 things 🙂
1. You Are More Than A Body.
You HAVE a body, you are not JUST a body.
It’s hard to remember this when we’re feeling awful about our physical bodies. But you are your dreams, hopes, aspirations, strengths, quirks, and so much more.
We don’t see our partners and loved ones as JUST a body, so why would they see you that way?
The physical you is one piece of the puzzle. Your heart, your spirit, your soul…that is also what makes you YOU!
2. Your Partner Sees You They Way You Don’t
The time I spent dating the personal trainer was a gift. It was vulnerable, required deep courage, and felt raw to expose myself in this way. But he cut through my embarrassment of my body and my shame to show me that I was more than the low opinion I had of myself.
It was humbling to realize someone cared more about ME, than about the weight I had gained. Someone wanted to get to know the ins and outs of me, and saw the beauty that I couldn’t see.
When you look in the mirror and see just your flaws and imperfections, your partner doesn’t see that.
They see you in a way that you don’t: a beautiful person both inside and out.
3. Their Love Can Help Heal Your Body Insecurities
Love heals. By your partner seeing you in a way you can’t yet see yourself, it helps open you up to more acceptance, more love and more healing.
Let that gift in. Yes, it can feel vulnerable and scary, but see where you can receive it anyway.
You might not like your body or what you see in the mirror, but someone else does.
We typically see the worst in ourselves. So let your partner’s love and acceptance help pull you towards what so many other people see in you. ♥
That alone can help you understand on a deeper level that you are worthy of love, no matter what your size.