Question: How can I have a better relationship with food?
Start by letting go of strict food rules and allowing yourself to eat all types of foods without guilt. Pay attention to your body’s signals—eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re comfortably full can rebuild trust with yourself.
Even small shifts, like slowing down at meals or noticing how different foods make you feel, can make a big difference. Over time, these practices create more ease, balance, and confidence around food.
📍 Side note: Feel free to scroll to the bottom to take the “My Relationship with Food” Quiz.
Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC
Start By Understanding Your Relationship With Food
Before you can shift your patterns, it helps to get curious about where you are now.
Do you eat when you’re stressed?
Feel guilt after eating certain foods?
Try journaling your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors around food for a few days—without judgment.
Noticing your automatic habits helps bring awareness to what’s actually going on beneath the surface. From there, you can begin to make intentional changes.
What Does a Better Relationship with Food Look Like to You?
This journey is deeply personal, so it’s important to define what you want.
Do you want to enjoy meals without guilt? Stop bingeing at night? Feel confident making food choices that honor your body? Take a moment to envision what feeling free and peaceful with food would look like in your life.
That vision can serve as your guide when things feel messy or slow.
Why a Healthy Relationship With Food Matters
When food isn’t a source of stress, your life opens up.
You have more energy, better mental health, and a greater sense of freedom in your body. Eating becomes about nourishment and pleasure rather than control or punishment.
This work is about so much more than what’s on your plate—it’s about how you feel in your life!
How Helen Learned to Have a Better Relationship with Food
Helen came to me feeling completely stuck in the restrict-binge cycle.
She had years of dieting behind her and was constantly swinging between “being good” and “losing control” around food. Through our work, she began allowing all foods, honoring hunger, and reconnecting with her body’s signals.
Over time, she found herself enjoying meals without obsessing. She also started choosing healthy foods not from a rule but from a desire to take care of herself.
Ans she felt food lose its power over her.
How Ann Resolved Her Food Struggles with Coaching
Sometimes it helps to hear someone share their story in their own words. Here’s what Ann wrote to me:
“Before I signed up for coaching with you, I spent most of my days thinking about food. I was a chronic dieter and literally spent 30 years of my life trying everything under the sun to “fix” my food issues.
It wasn’t until I met you and did this work that anything REALLY changed.
It wasn’t easy and yes–I WAS skeptical–but I wake up every day LIVING instead of being a shell of myself.
I can now show my two daughters how to have a healthy relationship with food and my body, and I can’t thank you enough. Because of you, I feel at peace with my food choices and 100x more comfortable in myself.”
— Ann, USA
For more emotional eating coaching stories, CLICK HERE.
Simple Steps to Take to Have a Better Relationship with Food
Improving your relationship with food starts with small, doable shifts.
These steps can help you build trust with your body and feel more at ease around eating. Start with one and go from there!
1. Let Go of Food Rules and Allow All Foods
Rigid rules like “no carbs after 7 p.m.” or “sugar is bad” can create a cycle of restriction and rebellion.
When we label foods as “good” or “bad,” it often leads to guilt after eating certain foods. Instead, allow yourself permission to eat all foods—even the ones you’ve avoided for years. Challenge the rules and then begin to soften them!
For example, if you’ve sworn off bread, try adding a slice of sourdough to your breakfast a few times a week and notice how your body responds. Flexibility helps you build trust with your body!
2. Listen to Hunger Cues and Honor Fullness
Many of us are out of touch with what hunger and fullness feel like (especially if we’ve spent many years in the diet world following rules.)
Start by checking in with your body before and after meals—are you eating because you’re physically hungry or for another reason? For instance, you might realize you’re reaching for a snack at 3 p.m. out of boredom rather than hunger.
Learning to respond to hunger and stop at comfortable fullness helps regulate what you eat naturally. This simple awareness is a powerful shift.
3. Practice Mindful Eating
Mindful eating means slowing down and paying attention while you eat—no phones, no rushing, just being present with your food.
It helps you recognize your body’s cues and enjoy the experience of eating without distraction. For example, savoring each bite of a piece of chocolate can feel far more satisfying than eating five pieces mindlessly while watching TV. This practice supports healthy eating over time. Mindfulness creates space between impulse and action.
4. Eat Balanced (and Get Enough Protein!)
A satisfying meal usually includes a mix of healthy fats, protein, carbs, and fiber.
When your meals are balanced, you’re less likely to feel deprived or snack excessively later. For example, a bowl of oatmeal with almond butter and berries will likely keep you fuller than just plain oats alone.
Protein is especially important—it stabilizes blood sugar and supports consistent energy. Balanced meals help nourish both body and mind, and keep you feeling more energized during the day!
Are You Emotional Eating?
Emotional eating often shows up when we use food to cope with stress, loneliness, boredom, or anxiety.
These triggers can override physical hunger and lead to patterns like grazing or overeating without realizing why. Start to notice what emotions tend to come up before a craving hits.
Are you reaching for chips after a hard day or cookies when you’re overwhelmed? Gaining insight into your emotional patterns helps you pause and ask: what do I really need right now?
How Body Image Impacts Your Food Relationship
If you’re constantly criticizing your body, it can lead to more restrictive or chaotic eating habits.
You might skip meals to “make up” for weekend eating or eat emotionally because you feel disconnected from your body. A negative body image can drive you to control food in ways that actually make you feel worse.
On the flip side, practicing respect for your body—regardless of its shape—helps create more peace and sanity around food. Healing how you see yourself supports healing how you nourish yourself.
Don’t Let Diet Culture Warp Your Relationship with Food
Diet culture teaches us that thinness equals health and that losing weight is always the goal.
This mindset turns food into a moral issue—where eating certain foods is a failure and “clean eating” is a badge of honor. These beliefs disconnect us from our bodies and create anxiety around food.
Ditching the diet mentality opens the door to trust, flexibility, and true healthy eating. You don’t need to follow rigid rules to feel good in your body.
Dealing with Food Guilt and Shame
Guilt often creeps in after eating certain foods that don’t meet our idea of “healthy.”
Shame tells us we’ve failed, and it reinforces all-or-nothing eating habits—either we’re “on track” or we’ve “blown it.” But food isn’t a measure of your worth.
Begin to notice where those guilty thoughts come from and gently challenge them. Every eating experience is a chance to practice self-compassion and move forward with care.
Take Small Steps Toward Food Freedom
Building a better relationship with food doesn’t happen overnight—but every small step adds up.
Whether it’s letting yourself enjoy dessert without guilt, tuning into hunger just once a day, or choosing a balanced meal, it all counts. Progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about learning, growing, and showing up for yourself in new ways. With patience and consistency, true food freedom is absolutely possible.
Choose the answer that most closely reflects your usual habits or thoughts.
Common Questions
Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with food?
Yes! Even if can seem challenging, over time, normal eating can be achieved. It often starts by listening to your body, honoring your food preferences, and letting go of guilt around eating foods you enjoy.
How do I reset my relationship with food?
Begin by tuning into hunger and fullness cues, working on allowing all foods (no food is good or bad, just more or less nourishing!) and making peace with your food choices—even the ones that don’t feel “perfect.
What is an unhealthy relationship with food?
It can look like obsessing over food intake, constantly trying to lose weight, or feeling anxious after eating certain foods–it’s that feeling of spending all of your waking hours thinking/planning/obsessing over food.
Is there such a thing as a “bad” food group?
I’m a fan of neutralizing foods–no food group is inherently “bad,” and foods can be looked at as neutral. They can be more or less nutritious, but they aren’t “bad” (because saying that makes us then feel critical and bad ourselves!) Cutting out whole groups can harm your mental health and create a more chaotic relationship with healthy eating.
How can I tell if I have a binge eating disorder?
If you feel out of control around food, eat past fullness often, feel obsessive around what you eat/don’t eat, or feel shame after eating, it might be worth exploring your struggles with a professional.
Related Articles
⚪ 7 Tips for Coping with Food Cravings the Balanced Way
⚪ How to Figure Out What to Eat So You Feel Nourished and Satisfied
⚪ How to Have Self Control with Food
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Schedule a 20-min CallAbout the Author:
Jenn Hand has been helping women like you become normal eaters since 2015.
She’s worked with thousands of women, helping them to balance their bodies, end bingeing, stop obsessing over food, and start feeling amazing again. As a board-certified health coach and holistic nutritionist, Jenn knows how to support you in making real positive changes that last.
Her articles have been published on Mind Body Green, Tiny Buddha, Thrive Global and other local and global media platforms. She’s the author of How to Be a Normal Eater and the creator of The Normal Eater’s Club program. Listen to Jenn’s advice and tips on the Cake Doesn’t Count Podcast, or read more of her articles for free on the Food Freedom Blog.
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