What comes to mind when I ask you to fill in the blank… “I’ll accept my body when ________”?
Was it one thing? A million things? Was it anything from the list below?
- When I lose 5/15/30/100/(fill in your number here) pounds
- When my stomach is less flabby/more toned/a different shape
- When I’m not overweight
- When my thighs don’t have cellulite/are smaller/are more muscular
- When my butt is smaller/bigger/more shapely/has less cellulite
- When my boobs are bigger/smaller/less saggy
- When I lose the pregnancy weight
- When I get rid of these stretch marks
- When I’m a smaller size
- When I can fit into my skinny jeans again
- When I can wear a bikini on the beach
- When I can wear a bathing suit period.
- When I don’t have a muffin top/flesh hanging over my pants
There’s only one small problem with this notion that we’ll accept our bodies “when ______”.
Because when we fix what it is we think we need to fix in order to accept ourselves, the love still doesn’t come.
We lose weight, but then hate our flabby belly.
We go down a size, but then fixate on our saggy boobs.
We “fix” the part we hate, but then obsess over something else we don’t like.
We lose the pregnancy weight, but loathe our new “mom” shape.
Why is this?
Because acceptance is an inside job.
Sure, we may have a moment of elation when we lose weight, fit into a smaller size or wear that bathing suit.
But then… we end up back to where we were before: loathing our bodies.
We’ll never “fix” ourselves enough on the outside to heal the “not enough” feeling on the inside.
It all starts from within.
We start to show kindness to our bodies NOW, we begin to feel less critical NOW, we show up and find a little bit more compassion with ourselves NOW…
And then what magically starts to happen?
How we view ourselves changes.
It doesn’t mean you can’t still want to lose weight. It just means that the desire comes from a place of love instead of hate. (And criticizing yourself into change never works anyway!)
I’ve seen this time and time again. With myself. With the women I work with. With friends.
We’ll never find external satisfaction because feeling “enough” & “accepted” comes from within you.
It’s hard to believe when we’re knee-deep in hating our bodies that this could be true. But I’ve spent more than half my life hating my body and I’m telling you it is true.
At my most thin time in my life? I hated my body the most.
Because no matter how much weight I lost, the reflection that I saw was still not good enough.
So be open to the possibility that you can find the body acceptance you’ve wanted by starting where you are here and now.
How do you do start to do that?
Find where you can soften into acceptance NOW. Just in this moment. Not forever. Not for a week. But now.
See where you can offer yourself a kind word or compliment NOW. Just for this one tiny second.
Explore how can you take a deep breath and find “being ok” right NOW. (And get of that critical voice in our heads!)
Sure, it takes patience, persistence, and determination.
But we can either spend our energy hating our bodies or working towards accepting our bodies. Which will you choose just for now? ♥
A quick note:
I have two 1:1 coaching slots opening in June. If you’ve thought about coaching and want to dive deeper into food/weight/body acceptance, you are welcome to check out the coaching page and/or book a call me with me to discuss. (Link on the coaching page)