Hi, I'm Jenn...

…and what I know deep in every bone of my body is this: the constant struggle battling your weight, your body, and your eating is a reflection of your soul desperately trying to get your attention. It’s whispering to you to give up the fight. Because freedom from this endless, exhausting battle is your natural state… a state where you feel at ease in your skin, sane around food, and comfortable at your natural weight.

 

Yes, all of that IS possible.

Hi, I’m Jenn…

…and what I know deep in every bone of my body is this: the constant struggle battling your weight, your body, and your eating is a reflection of your soul desperately trying to get your attention. It’s whispering to you to give up the fight. Because freedom from this endless, exhausting battle is your natural state… a state where you feel at ease in your skin, sane around food, and comfortable at your natural weight.

Yes, all of that IS possible.

On the outside, I appeared to be thriving…

I guess it began sometime in high school. I gained some weight and became really uncomfortable in my body. I wanted to be thinner, I wanted to feel at ease in myself, and I wanted the insecurity I felt deep inside to go away.

I used food even then, as early as I can remember. I would binge to deal with my emotions and things that a high school-er deals with. Parental expectations, peer pressure, wanting to fit in, and any situation that came up that I didn’t know to handle.

On a whim, I decided to buy diet pills and lose weight for the upcoming school prom. I lost about 25 pounds in 2 months and everyone complimented me on how great I looked.

And so began the diet pill addiction, the binging and dieting cycle, and the spiral down into the depths of an eating disorder.

I lived almost half my life in either binge or restrict mode, and I didn’t know it was possible to eat “normally”. I repeatedly gained and lost weight, each time more drastic than the last.

I went off to college and struggled with depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and body issues. Towards the end of college, I was taking almost half a bottle of diet pills a day. I hated my body and myself. I thought all of my problems would be fixed if I was thinner.

My whole life revolved around food: thinking about not eating, debating what I was going to eat, struggling with what I couldn’t eat and deciding how I would exercise to work off the food I did eat.

I just couldn’t bear the burden anymore of keeping this to myself, yet it was something I hid well from others. On the outside, I appeared to be thriving. I was a straight-A student, played varsity sports, grew up in a loving family environment, and had lots of close friends.

yet, inside, I was miserable, I hated myself, and thoughts of dieting consumed my life. 

Thankfully, My Life Is Completely Different Now… I’m Happier And Healthier Than I Have Ever Been!

As I began to live a life more true to myself, being more active, spending more time outside, and pursuing my passions, the weight has fallen away, gradually and naturally. The days of focusing my entire life on food, weight, and my body are long gone. Those debilitating, obsessive thoughts aren’t the central part of my life as it was before.

When I look back at my journey to where I am now, one thing I know for sure is that an eating disorder is a spiritual journey. Each step of the way allowed me to become more authentic in who I truly am. I had to let go of perfectionism, of thinking I wasn’t good enough, of suppressing my heart’s desires (and learn what a “heart’s desire” even meant).

I had to release society’s expectations and of following a life path I didn’t want. In addition to being free from the binge/restrict cycle, the food/weight obsession, and the battle to lose weight. I learned how to be myself, listen to my body, follow my intuition, and live an authentic life in the process.