I have a rant today about the wedding industry. (I promise this is related to hating your body đ ).
So Iâm getting my wedding dress fitted today.
And itâs bringing up a TON of old crap and the âthinner, trimmer, and smallerâ body thoughts.
I googled âlove yourself in a wedding dressâ and I found about 1,000 articles on âdoâs and donâts of buying a dressâ, âmistakes not to make when getting your wedding gownâ, and âsecrets to love your dressâ.
I found ONE Pinterest board link with âlove yourself in a dressâ and it was photos of plus-size wedding dresses.
Câmon google; you canât give me ONE article that says âscrew youâ to the body perfection weâre supposed to buy into with a wedding dress?!
Hereâs why Iâm fired up:
Because Iâve been âworkingâ on my food and body stuff for well over a decade.
And if I’M getting sucked into the âIâve gotta be thinner, smaller and more perfectâ for my wedding day, then what is the average woman thinking?!
Look at any bridal magazine and youâll see picture perfect images of white, super thin women in dresses.
Whereâs the diversity in color, size, and shape?
If the only image we see out there is this image of a âperfect brideâ, how do we not succumb to this idea that we’re somehow supposed to look like that? (Even if we know intellectually that it’s photo-shopped).
Here are some of the sneaky little thoughts Iâve had in the past weekâŠ
Should I cut out carbs before I get my dress fitted?
My stomach sticks out in my dress. I should âdoâ something about that.
I need to get a pair of Spanxx to hide the parts that arenât âperfectâ.
And the best oneâŠ
I should do a juice and veggie cleanse! (After my friend told me she lost 8 pounds on this cleanse she was doing).
The thing isâŠI refuse to ever cut anything out again. I spent 13 years of my life restricting and that is enough for many lifetimes đ
So whatâs the alternative?
If Iâm not dieting, if I know I wonât cut out carbs, do a juice fast, or try any cleanse to âtrim upâ for my wedding day, whatâs left to do?
(Isn’t that the million dollar question?!) đ
When you know dieting isnât for you and are completely (or almost completely) over it, then what do you do?
Usually we are dieting because of this basic thought/belief:
We hate our bodies and want them to change.
So how do we change that if we arenât dieting?
Hereâs how:
We change FIRST from the inside.
This is counter-intuitive to everything the diet industry tells us.
There will NEVER be a time when weâve arrived, we look in the mirror and we say âyep, done, my body is perfect and I feel acceptableâ.
It will never happen (trust me, Iâve tried 15, 000 times over the years đ )
So instead of banging our heads against the wall, trying the same thing over and over, we do something radically different.
We change the eyes with which we see our bodies.
We understand that we have that critical, judgmental voice within us, but we also have a loving, accepting voice within us.
Slowly, over time, we let that loving voice speak louder and louder.
Yes, of course the old voice will still rear its ugly head from time to time (like mine is doing now!). But we can recognize that, close our eyes, take a deep breath and re-connect with that other voice.
We look at ourselves and our bodies with new eyes. The eyes that we look at a loved one with. The eyes of our soul. The eyes of pure love đÂ
That’s when magic happens…because our aceeptance is no longer dependent on something external.
We find that a simple shift of our we perceive ourselves completely changes what we see.
We change from the inside first. And then how we see the outer changes on it’s own.
So I’m heading off to my fitting and am reminding myself of this right alongside you đ
Can you change the eyes with which you see yourself today?Â