I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about body acceptance lately. And the reasons why you (and most women) can’t accept your body.
“Do my thighs look fat in these shorts?”
“Will my love handles hang over my bathing suit?”
“Does this tank tap make my arms look big?”
And it got me thinking about accepting our bodies.
I mean, really, truly accepting them.
It was a beautiful day out a few weeks ago, so I got out my jean shorts to wear. And…they were tight. Very tight. As in, I-probably-wouldn’t-wear-them-out-of-the-house-because-I-felt-uncomfortable-tight.
And thus, I proceeded to have a meltdown. (And by meltdown I mean I turned into a semi-crazy person). I was in a panic, analyzing my body from every angle in the mirror, wondering if this was all in my head or if it was real (I don’t weigh myself; I go by how I feel in my clothes).
So, naturally, (in a crazed state) I then went on to try just about every single item in my closet to see if all my dresses, pants, jeans, shorts, and skirts fit.
My conclusion was that I had gained a few pounds (more on this in another blog post). Which prompted me to reflect on whether or not I REALLY accepted my body.
As my all-too-practical man, Aaron, pointed out…it seemed as if my “body acceptance” was based on my previous size. If I was this upset about gaining a few pounds, then how could I really be accepting my body?
And he was right. I was having a meltdown because I now thought my thighs didn’t look good in anything I owned. When did I come to believe that if my thighs were a size bigger that they were somewhere unacceptable?
The real reason we aren’t accepting our bodies is because of our belief about where we think we “should” be. (tweet that!)
My stomach should be flatter.
My thighs should be smaller.
My arms should be more toned.
My butt should be shapelier.
We associate certain sizes with looking better, being more desirable, and feeling acceptable to ourselves and others.
But what if we shook up those beliefs? And accepted our bodies anyway?
Because the “ideal” body shape is always changing. It’s never static. What was “sexy” in the media in 1970 doesn’t hold up to the same standards as today. What we embrace and aspire to look like today, could potentially be at odds with tomorrow’s ideal.
It means wearing a one piece because that’s what you’re most comfortable in (even if you think you “should” be wearing a bikini).
It means not ever hiding yourself in big, baggy clothes (because no matter what size you are, you have every right to be seen in fitting, flattering outfits)
It means looking in the mirror and not seeing every single stretch mark, scar, and extra skin as something to be fixed, changed, and “made smaller”.
And it means really being okay with where you are now. Being okay with your body doesn’t mean you can’t still want to change.
You can be at your heaviest point, accept your body in a gentle, loving, compassionate way, and still be on the path to better health.
You can’t hate, criticize, and berate your body enough to create lasting change. It just doesn’t work. (click to tweet!)
You can, however, be mindful, loving, and gentle with yourself and your body; with where you are now in your journey. And be courageous enough not to hide or be ashamed of how you look.
So, as warmer weather comes and sweatpants/sweatshirts/sweaters are put away, I encourage you to throw out your beliefs of having to look a certain way or be a certain size to accept yourself.
And be kind to yourself! If I promise to work on it, then I hope you will too 🙂
PS-Pass along to any woman you know that could use a good ole fashioned dose of some body lovin!
And one more thing-stay tuned for a 5-day “Feel Good In Your Summer Clothes” Challenge, which I’ll tell you about next week. If you’re not on my list, whatchya waitin’ for?!